How to work a room: the ultimate guide to making lasting connections in person and online

Part 1. Get ready! 1. Passport to opportunities Conversation is the linchpin Comfortable in crowds The boring truth 2. The five roadblocks : mother's dire warnings Roadblock 1 : "don't talk to strangers" Roadblock 2 : "wait to be properly introduced" (the Scarlett O'Hara syndrome) Roadblock 3 : "good things come to those who wait" (the prom king/ queen complex) Roadblock 4 : "better safe than sorry" (risking rejection) Roadblock 5 : "mangled and mixed messages confuse us" Risking the roadblocks An elevating experience Change/ risk/ reward Old lines : new friends Corralling your courage Celebrity sightings Practice makes perfect cents 3. The remedies : removing the roadblocks Remedy 1 : redefine the term stranger Remedy 2 : practice a self-introduction Remedy 3 : move from "guest" behavior to "host" behavior Remedy 4 : eject the "rejecter" and move on Remedy 5 : unmix the mixed message

4. Benefits : the bonuses of being there Turning chores into choices Planning payoffs The fun factor Believing in the benefits Accumulating contacts : the millionaire's Rolodex Two-way streets 5. The dynamic duo : charm and chutzpah Chutzpah : the courage to converse Charm : the secret ingredient The charmers Name tag title wave One and one is three 6. How to work the virtual room The mystique Online all the time Live chats Instant message madness Multitalented multitaskers The instant mssage meeting #Hashtag 4U Brevity? : the soul of wit or witless! The level playing field Emailstrom Family inter(net)vention Cyber-savvy Virtual networks The unbearable "lite" ness of being self-absorbed Can we not talk? You're such an e-card : a cyber "hallmark of distinction" The e-note or text of thanks The gift of time, leads, information, support Breaking up is hard to do in person A condolence e-card?

7. Mr. (or Ms.) Sleaze works a room : or how not to do it Being "slimed" Scan-dalous advice Mr. or Ms. Sleaze's disguises Learning from sleaze No joking matter : humor that hurts Fatal flaws How to handle a sleaze The self-promoter 8. New rooms to work : the social media melange Working new rooms Twitter verse-atile From online tweet to face-to-face meet A tweet connection Twitter tips for the prospective tweeter Linking up and LinkedIn Think before you link Facebook for biz and "friends" Comments lead to conversation and connection Alerted by Google Instagramification New meaning to the term getting pinned Google+ growing circles 9. Don't shy away from this chapter The point to remember Embrace our inner shy person The seven quick-step shyness recovery program

Part 2. Get set! 10. Eight steps to perfectly plan your presence Adopt a positive attitude Dress for the occasion Focus on the benefits of the event Plan your self-introduction Check your business cards Prepare your small talk Make eye contact and smile Practice your handshake The business kiss conundrum Another touchy subject Strike a pose Common scents 11. Seven strategies : from jump-start to smooth stop The entrance : grand or otherwise The buddy system The white-knuckled drinker, and other accessible folk Name tags that pull Great opening lines Moving in : breaking and entering Moving on : extricating yourself 12. Working the words : seven keys to lively conversation So what do you say next? The prepositional and other phrases Read one newspaper a day Clip and collect Read newsletters, professional journals and e-zines Take note and take notes Use humor (surely you jest) Listen actively, not passively Just say yes to new opportunities I'm sorry Five fundamental laws of casual conversation Fatal flaws of casual conversation Echoing the sounds of silence

13. How to work an audience - Audience behavior backfires Remedies for roadblocks Greeting and meeting Tips for terrific talks Free speech pays off Opening lines Here's looking at you Great opening acts Some additional thoughts 14. Working the rules of etiquette : good manners equal good business Etiquette and manners "Open door" policy Tech crunch time Manners mavens The RSVP Introductions Naming names Thank-yous Fast feedback Miscellaneous manners (three tips)

Part 3. Go! 15. Working the cocktail party with pleasure, purpose and panache The social cocktail party The business cocktail party The meal : sit down, you're rocking the boat! The fund-raiser : your money or Know-it-alls Scrap snap judgments 16. Working the reunion : reeling in reality Just go! National nostalgia Reunion referrals "New" face to place A "Boone" to mankind In sound company Paying our respects 17. Working the trade show or convention : the trade-offs # hash tag talk Preparing our plans Working the booth "Convention" al charm Trade show temptations : trysting and tippling Spouses : tired of getting schlepped along? 18. How to work the techno-toy room Google Glass : half empty or half full The noise "toys" Take two tablets and "poke" me in the morning Attention-getting devices Please, be camera-shy "Lock 'em in a cell" phone! Cell phone turn-off Generation text and/ or tweet The (gadget) generation gap Shout it out Mass Ignorance Self-important cell phone quiz Multitasking mania Low-tech/ no-tech toys

19. How to work the diverse room

Turnabout is fair play

"Hire authority"

Building bridges, bonds and business relationships

Listen up!

The virtual, diverse room

Techno friends

Avoid gender benders

Age gauge

20. Working the world : trains and boats and planes

Baggage claim conversation

The cornucopia of contacts

The lucky layover

The barber of civility, and matchmaking

"Public" speaking

The power of words

The plane truth

Arena aroma

Common ground

"Counter" intelligence

Try something new

21. "Room"-inations

[22]. Endnote

[23]. Disclaimer

[24]. The ten commandments of connecting : the gospel according to Roane

[24]. For those desperately seeking Susan

[25]. A sampling of Susan's clients

[26]. Yiddish glossary

[27]. Frequently asked questions

[28]. Readers' guide for book club discussion groups.